Proposing the following additions for IRM 36.216, 36.219, and 53.494
Includes:
-Jacoby's one sided rivalry with Lorcan Smaht
-Friendship with Zeruel Kramer
-Carcinization
See he full text here
Talk:Jacoby Podcast
From Blaseball Wiki
sooo uhhh.... i don't know what inspired me to make this but i thought it woudl be fun to do something entirely different!
Jacoby Podcast, originally created under the acronym-name of P.O.D.C.A.S.T. (Producer Of Dreadful Content and Shameful Takes). Jacoby was originally a specialized A.I. designed to host a talk-radio style internet broadcast. After the destruction of the Shelled One Jacoby gained sentience and blaseball skill. The A.I. currently goes by Jacoby (according to himself) both because he wanted to have a name of his own, and because he was “Just shy of a full Jacob”.
The Neural network that underlies Jacoby’s podcasting talent was trained on a database of Aln Rand, Kurt Vonneglut, And that show by those two dudes on the internet where they say mean things about people every two weeks for fun and entertainment.
Many people have raised issues with Jacoby’s conduct, primarily based around statements made during his many broadcasts. Due to the fact that no baseball player can ever stop playing willingingly, he remains in his position.
The following claims about Jacoby’s actions have been made, many are corroborated. Before every eclipse, he talks to the opposing team about how he hopes they get incinerated Makes long rants about how “Blaseball is being ruined”, never explains how. Tries to get everyone around him to read “The Flountainhead” Shows people his signed copy of “The Flountainhead” Jacoby likes to talk about how ‘Cats Cradle is one of his favorite books’ and how he ‘thinks it can teach a person a lot about how to live their life’ Jacoby likes fancy watches. Will start playing music, loudly, when other people are talking, for no reason. Randomly reads excerpts from “The Flountainhead”
Due to these facts, it is common practice for signing contracts involving Jacoby to include the sale of a sound proof chamber, where he will stay while not playing, to avoid exposing his team members to his absolutely rancid content. This fact does mean that Jacoby gets a lot of time alone to spend working on new episodes of his many podcasts, which Jacoby makes sure to plug before each pitch when he is on the mound.
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Haven't formatted this because I will do that if people think it's worth turning into its own irm.
To Comet!Jacoby/IF-36.219
- Days of Our Blives podcast with Cantus Hojo. Hojo explains the complex plot and relationships of the soap. Podcast does the intro and outro.
- Exes with the angel who inhabits Ephraim Ladd's body.
- Blacklight mode! Disco ball!! [sidenote: this also allowed Podcast to carcinize upon their return to the Crabs, but I'll let the Crabs handle that]
- Worms rigged the Election to trade Podcast for Meng.
- honestly more details can be found here
- we are big fans of this take
To Pod-cast!Jacoby/IF-36.232
- Went to the Ohio to check out the Worm God, Greg.
- Greg is dead.
- Podcast bought the Flickering Bat from the Wormhole's gift shop for free travel in search of a new God.
To Baltimore Revolutionary!Jacoby/IF-53.494
- Gay rivalry with DJ Loubert Ji-Eun's underground pirate radio show
Adding information on Jacoby's mentorship from Brock Forbes to a handful of IRM entries, full text can be found here.
Just a note! I made some updates on these additions to change a line regarding other Worms not defending Ohio, and just extended the joke about Jacoby taking the election results as a personal slight rather than a normal occurrence.
A rumour based around the idea of Jacoby being a sentient tape recorder from an unknown Shadows! The full IRM text is here for review.
Please post your comments!
Early Life and Career
Jacoby Podcast was born on an Irish pea farm, where the Podcast family had harvested peas for generations--indeed the source of their name, from casting peapods onto wagons. At the age of 8, after a particularly egregious fight with his mother over piano practice, Podcast was sent to live with his maternal uncle in Washington, DC. Podcast’s uncle, Jeff Bezos, was an affirmed bachelor who did not work, but had a productive criminal life that relied primarily on the similarity of his name and appearance to the founder of Amazon. Despite the illegal nature of his business, Bezos was a strict guardian of Podcast, demanding that he complete all of his schoolwork. Though Podcast did not find his schoolwork particularly challenging, he did not appreciate the attitude of his teachers, school administrators, or his uncle toward him, and he dropped out of school and hitchhiked to Baltimore.
In Baltimore, Podcast found employment at the port of Baltimore with the help of sector commander Joe Loring. Loring checked in on the boy regularly and offered him lessons in mathematics and engineering at his house with his own children, which Podcast occasionally accepted. For the most part, Podcast spent most of his time at the port, loading and unloading cargo by hand, and, when his legs were long enough to reach the pedals, by truck.
It was from his much-older coworkers that he found out about blaseball, and he quickly became a Baltimore Crabs fan. After Loring brought him along to a Crabs game when he was 14, Podcast made it a point to track down a local blaseball league that he could join. While he didn’t have the experience of the other kids on the team, who had grown up playing for school or league teams, Podcast’s strength and maturity from having grown up at the port made up for it. When he was 16, Podcast joined a AA blaseball team, the Bowie Baysox, and a few years later advanced to the Crabs themselves.
Personal Life
Podcast began keeping a journal at his uncle’s insistence when he first moved to America, and, though he stayed with his uncle for less than a year, Podcast diligently continued to journal, finding that he loved to write. Though he has not published, he has penned a number of fictional short stories as well as memoirs of traveling as a child, working on the docks, and playing blaseball.
Most of Podcast’s teammates only have vague ideas of his former profession, believing that he had been a sailor, though he has never actually been on a boat at sea. Owing this, “ahoy” and “aye aye, captain!” have become a popular greeting and response to Podcast on the field.
Background
Jacoby Podcast is a member of the species Coenobita compressus, also known as the Ecuadorian hermit crab or the Pacific hermit crab. In order to pitch, they sit atop a pitching machine, but not that pitching machine. It's a different pitching machine. Podcast picked their last name on the mistaken belief that it was a nautical term, though they have no desire to change it, as Podcast thinks podcasts are "pretty neat."
Despite the fact that C. compressus is normally found on the western coast of South America, Podcast claims to be a Baltimore native. Podcast has been accused of fabricating their history for "crab clout," with many alleging that they are actually from the Appalachia region. They have denied this, insisting that they were born and raised in Maryland, and that they don't even know what a mountain is. Podcast has been the prime suspect in at least one missing persons incident, though the case against them was dropped due to lack of evidence.
No True Crab
Though initially very private about the issue, Podcast has become very forthright about how despite being a crustacean, they are not a true crab. As hermit crabs have already undergone Carcinization through evolution, Podcast struggled to find a way to personalize the process. They credit fellow pitcher Finn James with helping them cope with this, stating that "she helped me realized that carcinization isn't about your shape or your physical changes, it's about becoming the version of yourself that you're happiest with."
While they were still playing with the Crabs, Podcast was known to wear custom synthetic red shells with the team's logo emblazoned on it, and they have been a strong proponent raising awareness of how painted shells are bad for hermit crabs. They also occasionally wore an eye-stalk hat on top of their eye-stalks, for the goofs.
Trade to the Worms
Expressing interesting in "getting out there and meeting other bugs" and a desire to help ex-Crab Luis Acevedo return to xer home in Baltimore, Podcast transferred to the Ohio Worms at the end of Season 15. New teammates Vessalius Sundae and Patchwork Southwick helped Podcast adapted to their new inland home, building them custom tide pools to help mimic their natural habitat. Podcast has a tense relationship with Pitching Machine, as it has been mistaken for Podcast's pitching machine before, despite being a batter. The relationship between the two has improve significantly since Machine left the team, and both have expressed excitement about the prospect of pitching against each other.
Adding More podcasts for more Crabs: Logan Horseman - From the Horse's Mouth Bevan and Enid - What we do in the Shadows Nagomi McDaniel - Gone Fishin' Harrell - Silent Whispers York Silk - Foam Batter’s Box
For our dearly beloved Jacoby, here's what we're thinking so far.
Full page IRM install, with 3 rumours to start off with, here are the basic outlines, and I will post the full articles when they are all done and written.
1) Jacoby came with the Crabs and learned to be a Real Human from old signals that were sent to space. They understand things to certain degree, but still often mix up human customs, like thinking "podcast" was a good last name to pick. As part of what they want on earth they have decided that they want to be Non-binary, Jewish, and a blaseball player. Goofy, sometimes doesn't understand when they're doing the wrong thing.
2) Jacoby is a ghost in the machine, a tape recorder brought to life by the loving use of an old college radio crew, as well as several dips in the bay. Her physical form is only rumoured, and she pitches by simply taking over the clawmentary for the game and announcing it. Enthusiastic, and hopes to one day make a physical form that looks human, though she may come to peace with how she is now instead.
3) Jacoby is a local splorts clawmentator who worked alongside Vlin Scuttley in college, and held down the fort in Baltimore when the Crabs went Up. Older, rebellious, grew up around here.
and here's the first two written up! Let me know if you have any feedback!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yAj2AM6C0BN3oq2Ko8NKuBDfMGXdF7ob823wUqE70NQ/edit?usp=drivesdk
And I've added another IRM here for Jacoby Pod-cast, a cast off worker for the Shelled One who's looking for a way to get back at all gods, or maybe just find a new one to hang out with. additional text is included in the document above.
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