Caleb Alvarado/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Caleb Alvarado has 2 Rumors written about so far.
Caleb Alvarado/IF-2.843
History
Caleb Alvarado is most frequently perceived as an elf with dark hair and eyes. He takes pride in his Mexican heritage, though he is not from Mexico (like all of us, he is from Chicago). He has a notably strained relationship with his father, whose identity is not public knowledge.
Much of his personal life before he became a blaseball player remains shrouded in darkness. Whether the darkness is literal or figurative has yet to be determined.
Blaseball Career
Caleb Alvarado was one of the original Firefighters on the team when the existence of the ILB was revealed to the material plane.
Alvarado joined the team following a series of arsons which destroyed his family's legitimate business operations. In order to ensure that his home team would win precisely when they were told to, Alvarado was placed at the top of the Firefighters pitching rotation, creating a stable betting environment for all the good Chicago families to rely on. Rumors abound as to the true nature of Alvarado’s connections, but the only thing fans know for certain is that he knows a guy who knows a guy.
His relationships with fellow Firefighters are generally positive, and he has no significant conflicts with most of his teammates. However, he had a particular fondness for irritating hitter Joshua Butt until the latter's incineration during Season 12.
During the Coffee Cup, he pitched for the Atlético Latte, joining newly-minted Firefighters hitter Peanutiel Duffy in representing Chicago.
Personal Quirks
Alvarado uses a special set of pitcher's talons made from folded steel and always shows up to the mound with a new sword from his collection to display. He is also a regular attendee of local Rlennaissance Faires and has been known to argue about the legality of using a live blade during an SCA (Slociety for Creative Anachronism) fight.
In his off time, he enjoys sharpening his steel and volunteering at the local Animal Rescue. He is particularly fond of pigeons, and can often be found knitting or crocheting blankets for the sick or injured pigeons at the animal rescue. His other crafting habits are widespread, though he tends to return most frequently to crochet. He is an active Rledditor on r/crafts and related subreddits.
Trivia
- Once, Caleb built a Wallace & Gromit-style Rube Goldberg machine to deliver notes to each team member. Each note was a hand-written request for them to personally join him at practice the following morning. The all-team practice that resulted was shockingly productive.
- Alvarado occasionally bonds with fellow Firefighter Declan Suzanne by visiting Mledieval Times, which is located in Suzanne’s hometown of Schaumburg, Chicago.
- Alvarado has a penchant for cowboy boots, which seem to get more decorated and detailed each inning.
- Upon the incineration of Tyreek Olive, Alvarado was heard to say “No… no.”
- Caleb has a knack for finding the most interesting angle of every situation. Among other things, he has appeared in the Firefighters’ living spaces with backstage passes to an art show focused on dogs in formalwear, a spot as a judge in a pie-eating contest, and a plan to attend a highly selective auction where the only lots are washi tape.
Caleb Alvarado/IF-319.11
Biography
Though information regarding Caleb Alvarado’s past is difficult to verify due to their age and having never been heard to speak, folklore states that Alvarado once served as head groundskeeper at Chicago's Garen T. Draight Field.[1] When Draight Field was evacuated during the Great Chicago Blaseball Fire, Alvarado supposedly refused to leave the stadium and was still on the premises when it was destroyed. After the Great Chicago Blaseball Fire was extinguished, Firefighters exploring the ruins encountered a roughly humanoid pile of charred bricks, crumbling masonry, and ivy vines tending to the still-intact outfield.[2] Due to their devotion to the splort of Blaseball and apparent prowess as a firefighter, the pile of bricks - later confirmed to be Alvarado - was inducted as a player for the Chicago Firefighters on the spot.
Alvarado currently serves as the head groundskeeper at the Fire House.
Caleb Alvarado is thought to weigh over six tons. In spite of this, he is capable of rapid movement, which, given his mass, can be hazardous for people nearby. To avoid agitating him, a brief list of terms to avoid when near Alvarado follows:
- "Fire" (unless followed by "fighters")
- "Weeds"
- "Goat"
- "Drought"
- "Soil compaction"
- "Mushroom"
- "Ketchup"
Since this list is not exhaustive, it is generally recommended to keep at a safe distance from Alvarado unless he knows and trusts you.
Trivia
- Caleb Alvarado’s body is covered in a unique variety of ivy. Like Caleb, this ivy is from Chicago.
- Alvarado personally tends to the ivy covering the outfield walls at the Fire House, and forbids anyone else from touching it. For this reason, Alvarado is known affectionately as "Papa Ivy."
- Alvarado is often seen with fellow Firefighter Baby Triumphant, rocking them gently in a cradle woven from vines.
- Alvarado decorates themself with objects that they find interesting or attractive, usually rocks or pieces of vegetation.
- During away games, Alvarado manifests himself from bricks, masonry, and plant matter in the vicinity of the opposing team's stadium. After the game concludes, the pile becomes an enormous lifeless heap of rubble on the pitcher’s mound. This has proven troublesome for opposing teams' groundskeepers in the past.
- ↑ Though the identity of Draight and the blaseball team that played underneath them have long since been lost to time, it can only be assumed that they and their team were of great power, skill, and importance.
- ↑ Some older fans claim that ivy was never an original feature of Draight Field, and that it actually belonged to a rival team also located in the city of Chicago. No records of this hypothetical other team have survived, however. Modern hlistorians have deemed the existence of two teams in the city of Chicago unlikely, given the apparent power and importance of Draight and their blaseball team.
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