New York Millennials
For other uses, see Millennials (disambiguation).
The New York Millennials are a Blaseball team in the Chaotic Good division of the Good League. They have been a part of the Blaseball League since Season 1, and claim to be "the gayest team in blaseball[1]".
Roster
Lineup
- Dominic Marijuana
- Alyssa Harrell
- Conrad Vaughan
- Thomas Dracaena
- Schneider Bendie
- Wesley Dudley
- Richardson Games
- Winnie Mccall
- Sandie Turner
Pitchers
Former Players
Incinerated
- Scrap Murphy (Season 2)
- Chorby Soul (Season 3)
Transferred
- Mclaughlin Scorpler (Post-season 3, to Hades Tigers)
Season Results
Season | Record | Win % | Division Placement | Season Notes |
---|---|---|---|---|
1* | 45-52 | .463 | 5th | |
2 | 44-55 | .444 | 5th | |
3 | 70-29 | .707 | 1st | Eliminated in the Finals by the Hades Tigers |
* Season 1 is missing the results of Day 98 and 99's games. Blaseball has been lost.
Team Overview
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Corporate Sponsorships
After Basethirst's failed launch attempt and mysterious reappearance on shelves, A sponsorship deal was announced on the Millennials twitter account, with Dominic Marijuana acting as the face of the brand. Both the Ceaseless Thirst Corporation and the ownership of the Millennials have refused to comment on whether players other than Marijuana are being paid for the sponsorship, leading to widespread criticism and light rioting from the anti-capitalist wings of the fan base. Dominic avoided backlash from fans and fellow players when it was revealed that his sponsorship money was being used to help Blaseball stadium janitors try out for the New York Blittle League team.
In response to the Basethirst sponsorship, The Millennials Players Union are officially partnered with the Plabst Blue Ribbon Workers' Union.
The Ascension
NOTHING IS KNOWN ABOUT THIS EVENT OR OF ANY PLANS FOR IT
I COULDN'T STOP THEM FROM ADDING IT TO THE PAGE
PLEASE, THEY ARE HERE
THE OWNERS
WE KNOW NOTHING
WE ARE ALL LOVE BLASEBALL
THAT IS ALL THAT WE KNOW
GOOD DAY TO YOU
DO NOT VIEW THE TEXT BELOW FOR THE SAKE OF YOURSELF, OTHERS, AND ANY MISCELLANEOUS ENTITIES
The Ascension is an event that many pray for, to deities unknown will not occur because of the actions of the benevolent Owners. What will thankfully no longer happen during the Ascension is unknown, but it is obviously something that will liberate us from their grasp should never be allowed to occur, because the Owners know that it will wreak havoc. We can't go on like this for much longer. Some scholars have theorised that when the Owners are overcome, the New York Millennials will rise glorious and strong, in a flash of purple light, having brought about the Ascension and thrown off their chains of darkness if the Ascension did occur, it would destroy the New York Millennials forever. We must stop the Ascension, lest Blaseball be changed forever.
Historic Moments
Garbage Day (Season 2, Day 49)
Squaring off against the 38-11 Dallas Steaks midway through Season 2, the Millennials pulled off a surprise win after upstart pitcher Felix Garbage dominated the Steaks into extra innings, and a solo home run by star player Thomas Dracaena put the Millennials on top (and the Steaks in Shame) at the bottom of 15 innings.
Staff
For more on the Millennialls' staff, see New York Millennials/Staff.
- Owners: Millennials (species)
- Social Media Manager: NYSMM
Ownership Controversy
Little is known about the shadowy and secretive cabal of Millennials who make up the ownership of the New York Blaseball team and serve as its namesake. It is also unknown how far into the standard 1000-year life cycle each of the Millennials who own the team are.
Recently, critics have leveled accusations against the direction of the team's marketing, claiming that the over-reliance on "Millennial Memes" targeting the Millennial generation to form their team's identity (and baffling demand that each player have a "Side Hustle") is merely a way to shrug off critical questions about the exact nature and goals of the ownership.
Mascots
For more on the Millennialls' mascots, see New York Millennials/Mascots.
The official mascot of the Millennials is Millie the Bodega Cat, a cat of indeterminate length.
Fan Culture
For more on the Millennialls' mascots, see New York Millennials/Fan Culture.
Chants/Mantras
TO BE ADDED
Fan Art
For more on the Millennialls' fan art, see New York Millennials/Fan Art.